Crabcakes – Fuck You Maryland! Mine Are Better!

It took me awhile to find a nice balance for a crabcake. I tried traditional Maryland recipes, copycat recipes from famous restaurants, recipes from popular cuisine networks… I honestly think I tried no less that 50 recipes before finally coming-up with this one through trial-and error. Just goes to show how cooking is a science as much as it is an art. The best way to describe these crabcakes is as a hearty crabcake served on a grilled pineapple ring with a pineapple beurre blanc. Unfortunately, I don’t have a final plating picture this round because these things never survive long enough for me to whip-out my phone to take the formal food-porn pic. So anyhow, on to the first recipe post for something that’s not Asian-inspired.

Crabcake Ingredients:

• 3 Lbs Snow Crab Clusters
• 1 Red Bell Pepper
• 1 Shallot
• 1 White Onion
• 2 Green Onions
• 2 Cloves Garlic
• Fresh Ginger (about 1/2 inch)
• 1 tsp Salt
• 1 ½ Tbsp Real Mayonnaise
• 1 Tbsp Spicy Brown Mustard
• 1 tsp Old Bay Seasoning
• 3/4 Cup Saltine Cracker Crumbs (I actually stale-up some saltines for these)
• 1 Egg (Large)
• 1 Cup Panko Bread Crumbs (for coating before baking)

Beurre Blanc Ingredients:

• 1 Tbsp Salted Sweet Cream Butter
• 1 Shallot (medium – finely chopped/minced)
• 1 tsp Herbs De Provence
• 3 Tbsp Plumb Wine
• 2 Tbsp Pineapple Juice
• 1/3 Cup Heavy Cream
• 8 Tbsp Salted Sweet Cream Butter

Okay… on to the cooking:

1. Shell the snow crab and set aside on paper towels to remove moisture
2. Finely dice onion, bell pepper, shallot (maybe not the whole onion, but about 1/2 – 2/3 cup of finely diced onions)
3. Mince the garlic
4. grate the ginger using a zester or small grater
5. Sautee onion, pepper, shallot, ginger, and garlic until they become aromatic then set aside and let cool.
6. Chop crab into large chunks/lumps
7. Chop green onion
8. add stale-ified saltine crumbs along with all other ingredient to a large mixing bowl and gently mix by hand (so ya don’t fuck-up the crab meat)
9. Put the panko crumbs on a plate, form mixture into crab cakes and lightly coat with panko
10. Set on a parchment paper-lined baking tray, cover and chill for a couple hours. (this allows for the flavors to marry a little)
11. Bake at 350 for 20-30 min
12. Drizzle with the Pineapple Buerre Blanc and serve hot over grilled Pineapple (Beurre Blan Instructions Below – Make that and grill the pineapple while these are baking)

Making the Beurre Blanc:

1. Heat 1 tablespoon of butter in a saucepan and add the shallots and herbs de provence. Cook briefly, stirring, and add the pineapple juice and wine. Cook until the liquid is almost totally reduced.
2. Add the heavy cream and bring to the boil. Turn down the heat to med/low, add the pieces of butter, a few at a time, stirring rapidly with a wire whisk.
3. You’ll know it’s done when it coats a spoon and doesn’t run off. I’ll get some pictures of this later, but it more or less has the consistency of a hollandaise sauce

Now, you may have noticed that I didn’t get snarky or saucy with this post. That’s because the beurre blanc is saucy enough for the both of us. Be sure to use just enough to get some flavor on top. I always drizzle it around the plate so folks can have a little extra, but not so much they can’t taste the crab! If they ask you for salt or butter for these, kick them the fuck out of your dining room! Also, if you can’t grill pineapple slices… go <insert>vulgar verb + reflexive “you” pronoun</insert>!